Shrimp Sandwich (Shrimp, Caviar, Lettuce and Lemons, on White Bread)
Dear Smorgas,
What is this?  I believe I ordered the Shrimp Sandwich for $13.  Instead you have mistakenly brought me five flavorless, miniature shrimp, some wilted lettuce, and a coke spoon worth of caviar on a piece of stale bread.
Oh, and there are lemons, too.  Not lemons I can conceivably squeeze on the sandwich to impart some modicum of flavor, mind.  Rather, the sort of lemons that just sit there and make it look like you tried.
Please allow me to offer you a bit of advice: try harder.  Putting a cherry tomato and 2 olives on lettuce doesn’t make a salad, dousing an unseasoned potato in mayo is not the right way to make potato salad, and THIS!?  Well this is just about the saddest excuse for a sandwich I’ve ever seen. 
I’ve had better meals in an IKEA.
Sincerely,
between2slices

Smorgas Chef
53 Stone Street
New York, New York 10004

Shrimp Sandwich (Shrimp, Caviar, Lettuce and Lemons, on White Bread)

Dear Smorgas,

What is this?  I believe I ordered the Shrimp Sandwich for $13.  Instead you have mistakenly brought me five flavorless, miniature shrimp, some wilted lettuce, and a coke spoon worth of caviar on a piece of stale bread.

Oh, and there are lemons, too.  Not lemons I can conceivably squeeze on the sandwich to impart some modicum of flavor, mind.  Rather, the sort of lemons that just sit there and make it look like you tried.

Please allow me to offer you a bit of advice: try harder.  Putting a cherry tomato and 2 olives on lettuce doesn’t make a salad, dousing an unseasoned potato in mayo is not the right way to make potato salad, and THIS!?  Well this is just about the saddest excuse for a sandwich I’ve ever seen. 

I’ve had better meals in an IKEA.

Sincerely,

between2slices

1 Sandwich

Smorgas Chef

53 Stone Street

New York, New York 10004